There’s little doubt that the COVID-19 pandemic has substantially altered our daily lives. From shuttered businesses and school closures to medical equipment shortages and panic shopping, we’re all struggling to adjust to these changes.
But while someone’s main gripe for being cooped up at home for the foreseeable future might be that they no longer get to socialize with friends at a favorite bar, there are others who fear that the call to #stayhome could actually cause them more physical harm than the coronavirus itself.
That’s certainly true if domestic violence is part of your home life. Domestic violence, which legally refers to some kind of physical assault that’s alleged to have occurred between people who have some sort of household relationship, is a reality for a staggering number of Americans.
According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, an average of 20 people experience physical domestic violence each minute in the United States. Further research has revealed that one in four adult women and one in nine adult men in the U.S. have experienced some sort of severe violence from an intimate partner.
And that’s all before the COVID-19 outbreak. Data shows that disasters can make domestic violence situations even more volatile, as these events can disrupt environments (both physically and socially) among large groups. In the aftermath of recent hurricanes, for example, emotional and physical abuse among women in domestic violence situations skyrocketed.
In the wake of the pandemic, preliminary reports from China suggest domestic violence incidents have tripled, while cities in the U.K. and throughout Europe have experienced waves of domestic violence reports. Major cities in the U.S. are also seeing surges in domestic violence reports. Seattle police revealed that in their city, which was one of the first in the U.S. to be affected by the novel coronavirus outbreak, saw a 21% increase in domestic violence reports in March alone. When NBC News asked 22 different law enforcement agencies nationwide about information pertaining to domestic violence calls, 18 departments said they experienced increases last month.
Tragically, this trend isn’t surprising. The disruption of regular routines, the loss of control, and the lack of access to support systems acts as a highly dangerous combination for those currently in domestic abuse situations. Domestic violence is all about power; some victims have come forward to report their abusers are actually weaponizing the outbreak against them, forbidding them to leave the house, blaming them for potential infection, or sharing misinformation pertaining to the virus.
Worse yet, many domestic violence survivors are too afraid of contracting the coronavirus to seek out medical care related to these incidents or to obtain other help. Although there are approximately 472,560 primary care physicians in the United States, victims are understandably even more hesitant to obtain emergency medical attention with the threat of COVID-19 looming.
Survivors are often unable or unwilling to stay elsewhere during the pandemic. Victims may not have the option of staying at the home of a parent or relative for fear that they’ll expose their loved ones to the virus or due to statewide travel restrictions. And since women’s shelters are often closed or overcrowded due to the pandemic, many victims may feel it’s safest to stay put.
In addition, it’s likely going to be harder for victims to leave even after the pandemic dies down; the economy is poised to take a massive hit and survivors may have already lost their means of secretly saving money to make their move. Even if they don’t plan to relocate to an expensive area (like Manhattan, which boasted an average condo sales price of $1.9 million in 2017), planning for any move is logistically much more difficult during a disaster like this.
Certainly, this situation seems incredibly bleak. But if you’re quarantined with your abuser, you can still take steps to stay safe and to get out as soon as possible. According to the YWCA of Mohawk Valley, domestic violence victims should take this time to develop what’s called a safety plan. This should involve identifying areas of the home that will allow for escape, designating safe words for when to run or seek help, writing down emergency phone numbers and contacts, alerting the neighbors about when they should contact police, and discussing the need to stay out of disputes with your children. The National Domestic Violence Hotline has an in-depth guide to creating a safety plan that many families may find useful.
It’s also important to reduce triggers and avoid abuse patterns. While your abuser’s behavior is in no way your fault, you can keep yourself and others safe by making deliberate choices that will minimize the risk of violence. By remaining calm during episodes, avoiding the discussion of past events, staying out of certain rooms, or reducing interaction with your abuser during certain times of the day. It’s also a good idea to take advantage of periods when your abuser may be distracted or otherwise engaged and to do everything you can to de-escalate situations before they turn violent.
As much as possible, you’ll want to maintain a routine at home, take time for your children and yourself, and keep in touch with your support network without putting yourself in danger. Keep in mind that the National Association of Domestic Violence Hotline can be accessed via phone (1-800-799-SAFE) or online; if you use the website option, there’s an escape button visitors can hit that will take them off the page and actually remove the visit from cookies. NDVH also has a detailed post on how abusers are responding to COVID-19 and what victims can do to stay safe.
It’s true that this is a challenging time for everyone. But those who have found themselves in abusive relationships are facing even greater hardship and fear. Whether you’ve survived a domestic violence situation yourself or you’re worried about a loved one, accessing available resources and carefully navigating this dangerous situation will likely provide the best outcome.
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