One of my fellow Texan Bloggers has opened up a link party all about the mean girls we’ve encountered. It happens to us all. If you’re alive and female you’ve had a mean girl moment or maybe 9(thousand). Why does this happen? Why do we accept it? Why do we pretend to laugh it off while we are secretly dying inside?
There were words said to me when I was a child that 20+ years later I can quote back verbatim. Just thinking about it brings a rush of negative emotions! I’ve mentioned before that I struggled with my weight, self-image and worth from a young age. The fat kid jokes followed me for years and even now occasionally haunt my dreams.
“Call 1-800-Jenny fatty” ~ Random kid in a park.
“Why are you wearing the same dress again? Didn’t you wear that last week and the week before?” ~ the girl I thought was my friend, that I was jealous of my whole childhood
“I’ll give you $10 for every pound you lose in the next 3 months” ~ my grandmother.
Those words scared my soul in ways you’ll never understand. Those words started a downward spiral of self-doubt and rejection, that I still fight to over come.
Even as an adult there are more subtle mean girl moments, that hurt and redefine what I thought were solid friendships. That fact never ceases to amaze and scare me. How are we so accepting of this behavior? When did it become ok to be a Mean Girl as long as there is a smiley face or wink at the end.
I’m guilty of justifying bitchy moments with a wink or two, no one is perfect, but I’m trying to learn from my own hurts. 
I am choosing to recognize the “mean girl” that I have inside myself, and lock her up! I refuse to join the ranks of those that thought they could define me with their small-minded words and actions. I am better than the fat girl that they thought I was. I am better than snarky comments and back stabbing friends. I am better than the judgement they sought to impose on me.
I choose to be different, to spread love, and encourage everyone I can. Will you join me? Lock up your own mean girl and encourage those around you!
I hope you’ll join with those of us writing about our mean girl moments! For more info Check out Michelle’s blog post HERE
PS. I’m over at Hairspray and High Heels sharing my 5 must have beauty products 🙂 Be sure to check it out and show Ange some love!
You are the sweetest. And you are so beautiful. I hate Mean Girls (but I love the movie…. I think I will watch it!) I think girls are like that because of their own self esteem issues. I was friends with a girl like that a few years back. She always rubbed in our faces that her "husband" (which whom she married just for insurance and more money) that she got a new Dooney or Coach purse. She ALWAYS would text me photos of her new freshly manicured hands every week. Or some diamond her sucker of a husband got her. Then she would totally talk shit about other WOMEN we hung out with. And usually we were in the car, on our way for a play date. Hearing her bash them and say all this personal stuff about them…. and then 5 minutes later having to look at those women she bashed right in their face really made me uncomfortable. I mean… it was bad. So, I finally called her out on her bullshit and told all the women she was gossiping about and said FUCK YOU! I am out! And haven't spoken to her in over 2 years. And I still won't. Friends don't do that.
LOL I totally agree about the movie 🙂 And people who talk crap about people behind their backs should be shot… that may be the Texan in me… but for real!
I am so humbled by your willingness to share. It is so sad that the words that hurt us the most are the ones that we let define us. I remember being called ‘Gumbi’ well into my twenties – I have small teeth but suffered from a disorder in which I had to have my gums cut away. Oh, and the words when I was about 12 or 13 from my Mom’s best friend: ” You’ll never be beautiful …” ahhhh it’s like ripping a bandaid off all over again.
Thank you for sharing and I’m so thankful that I have found you and the assorted Texas women’s blogging groups. You are beautiful and it definitely radiates through your words!
Its amazing the way that words impact us! even though I've been at the hurtful end so many times, I still forget that my words can cut deep. Something to always keep in mind! I'm so glad we met too! And thanks 🙂
Never could stand a bully, an animal, child or elder abuser or those who pick on or make fun of developmentally disabled folks. Thanks for your post, hopefully it takes off and women will start taking a long hard look at their actions before letting their inner (or outer) bitch on the loose.
I'm so thankful I learned of your blog through a post on No room for Mean Girls Here from How My World Runs. This topic is exactly why I started my blog and started to get stronger for myself and ultimately my daughter. Women are so judgy and down-right-mean to one another sometimes and I've so been trying to DO SOMETHING about it.
I believe there is nothing more beautiful than the the bullied finally finding their voices and start standing up to hate and hateful talk. You are beautiful. Your words are beautiful. You strength is beautiful.
I wrote this last week about the people who thoughtlessly put their own needs for self-importance ahead of everyone else. The self-absorption, the pathetic attempt to make ones-self feel better despite another human being's feelings has me over the edge mad. I think it speaks to just what you are saying.
http://justus4carters.wordpress.com/2013/05/01/we…
Thanks you so much for your sweet words! I'm finally at a point in my life where I'm not afraid to share the things that have challenged me anymore. Its so freeing! And if I can help just one girl/women find her voice and move past the hurt, Its worth it!