Blogging Conferences: The good, the bad, and the “mean girls”. Everyone has a different perspective… because everyone, and their expectations are different. Kind of like life, and if you’re not careful, these conferences can cause scary High School flash backs.
I’ve been to a couple of conferences now and learned a few things…
1.) You get out what you put in.
Like pretty much everything else in life. I really shouldn’t need to say more, but I’m going to anyways. If you want to learn and grow at a conference, pay attention. Put down the cell phone, ignore the crazies on twitter and focus. Take notes! Now there is a novel idea.
2.) “Mean Girls”
A touchy subject. Most of us probably dealt with something similar in high school and we start having big-hair-shoulder-pad-year-book-photo flashbacks. But here’s the thing. Those girls that you think are “mean” are probably just as nervous as you are. Blogging conferences kind of force us to confront our insecurities head on. In the event that they truly are “mean girls”, let’s be adults and walk away. No need to bitch for hours, start twitter wars, or publicly call them on stuff. Put your big girl panties on and take the high road. Believe me you’ll enjoy the conference a whole lot more.
3.) Conferences will be as clique-y as you let them be.
Sure, we all have people we prefer to be around. It’s easy to stick with them and play it safe. Nothing wrong with that… but if you play it safe and hang with the same people all the time, don’t rant and rave about cliques at a conference. Cause you were one. This kind of relates back to number 2 and facing our insecurities. Nobody wants to stand in the middle of a crowd and feel all alone. But I can pretty much guarantee that you’re not the only one feeling strange and awkward. So reach out, say hi and make a friend. Before you know it you’ll have a new group of awesome people who will support you. Now in the event that someone forgot that being bitchy is un-cool, and they ignore you or whatever, shake it off. Tell yourself it’s not you, its them *obviously* and they just missed out on the most awesome connection they would have ever had in their life!
4.) Curb your expectations.
Nothing in life is perfect. And if I shocked you with that statement, we need to have a whole other conversation. Check out the conference thoroughly before committing. I dare say that if I had done a little more research into the last conference I attended, things may have turned out differently. I would have actually known what I was going to experience. Instead I got caught up in the excitement of seeing some of my favorite people. Nothing wrong with that of course, but I had expectations that had no basis in reality. *face palm*
5.) Connections have value.
The most valuable thing you can gain at a conference is connections. Information is readily available if you want it… just use a little thing we like to call “the google”, you can find what ever you need. Connections on the other hand take a little work. You might have to step outside of your comfort zone, or you might have to walk up to a stranger and start a conversation, but its worth it! That connection might be the only thing of value you walk away with, so make it a good one!
6.) Fashion Icons
Lets be realistic shall we? We’re not all fashion icons. Heck most us aren’t even fashion bloggers. I’m doing good to wear something other than yoga pants on an average day… and I don’t even have kids! So while planning your outfits and coordinating accessories for a conference is fun, its not mandatory. BE COMFORTABLE. You can look good with out wearing the newest trend or must have color. Confidence is far more attractive than mint skinny jeggings. And I can say that… cause I wore mint skinny jeggings.
7.) Follow Up.
You’re gonna be swapping business cards like candy! Make sure they have all the right information and truly represent you and your brand. Every time you get a new business card, take a moment and jot down a few words on the card that describe the person you connected with. You want to be able to remember everything you learned about them when you look at the card and write that follow up email! And do email them! Following them on twitter or facebook isn’t going to be enough to build upon your connection.
That blogging conference you want to go to could be the most amazing experience of your life, if you let it be! So do your research, network before hand and plan on having a good time!
krazychocolatte says
Jennifer, thank you so much for being an adult an act like one about the blogging conference. I'm not a blogger, but an avid reader and it really shows people's true colors when they are smearing a conference just because they didn't get what they wanted out of it. Instead they should be showing us the good side of what happened or say nothing at all. There might be people who are considering being a blogger or are a new blogger who might not go based upon a bloggers opinion which would be so sad! I hope everyone reads your post because it truly is the guidelines for how to attend any conference or function. Thanks so much!!
JenniferJayne13 says
Thanks so much! Its not always easy to pick the high road. I could have ranted and raved, bitched and moaned along with the rest of them, but my Mom always taught me to look for what I could learn in any experience and leave the crap behind. I still have mixed emotions about some of the things that happened, but far less than it seems many others have simply because I made the best of the situation I was in 🙂 And I think thats the key to life, not just conferences 🙂
Taylor @ PHPT says
Great post girly!!!! 🙂
Lindsey says
I love this! I agree with you whole heartedly. You get what you put in. I had no idea how shy I was and at first felt like everyone was very cliquey, then realized they were likely just as nervous/shy as I was 🙂 Thank you for articulating what a lot of us were feeling this past weekend. Love your honesty!
Amanda Haney says
This is a great post, Jennifer. 🙂
Mandy C. says
AMEN. best BlissDom recap ever. If there is one standout thing I've learned from Bliss, it's that your experiences are what you make of them. There were definitely ups and downs, but I prefer to focus on all of the good that came out of it.
JenniferJayne13 says
Awww thanks 🙂 Its so true! Are you a glass half empty or half full kind of person? If you can focus on at least *most* of the good then you'll be able to have a good time. If you're going to sit around and bitch for hours about this person or that person, all you're going to do is drag yourself and the people around you down.
parloandlogi says
Great perspective. Now with all that being said, do you think you'll attend next year?
JenniferJayne13 says
Honestly… I'm still on the fence. It boils down to a few things… If I know that there will be people I know there, if its still in Dallas and if I can find a way to not spend almost $600 for a weekend away. But at the same time… I walked away with a TON of swag, amazing connections with some brands and other bloggers, and mostly positive experience. So we'll see… I've got a whole year to think about it.
imnotasupermom says
I loved you and your mint jeggings!
So great to meet you in the One2One suite and sit with you a bit later.
Happy yo have met you!
JenniferJayne13 says
Awww 🙂 Thanks girl! It was great to chat and I am happy to have met you too!
Sherry Carr-Smith says
Jennifer, I'm so glad I got to visit with you, even if it was just a few minutes over breakfast in the cafe. I'm so glad to read your perspective on the conference, as I agree completely. Also, I'm glad you're giving it a year to decide whether you'll go again, because I changed my mind several times over the course of a year after my first BlissDom. One of the things that sticks out in my mind about this year is you and your friends shaking it on the dance floor at Girls Night In. I love when people dance without worrying about others and you guys were having such a great time!
JenniferJayne13 says
I'm glad we got to connect too! There are so many BIG conferences that I could go to… I think that I am going to take some time to research more options to find something that would really help me grow and learn… instead of getting caught up in the exceitment of hanging out with friends… not that there is anything wrong with that… but for what this last conference cost altogether, we could have gone on an all inclusive, week long vacation lol. I had so much fun dancing! It was even more awesome cause so many people joined in 🙂
Alysa says
Yes! You nailed it. Great post.
Beth says
I wasn't even aware of Blogger conferences until a few months ago. While all of that is useful information, what I don't understand is…what's the point of these conferences?? Why should I shell out money and precious vacation time to go to them, aside from meeting other bloggers?? I don't get it. :/
JenniferJayne13 says
A lot of the motivation behind it is providing an opportunity to learn, network, meet new people/bloggers and have fun. I guess its like any other booming industry… My motivation for going was more related to the people I was rooming with and wanted to see, than it was to the conference itself. When your best friends live on opposite side of the country, opportunities to be together, like these are hard to pass up 🙂
Taylor Brione says
Good post! Did you attend Blissdom? I've heard alot of negative things and very little good.
JenniferJayne13 says
I was at Blissdom. Some of the points in the post are Blissdom drama inspired. I think its far too easy for people to focus on the negative, especially when they're already upset, and write a scathing blog post. Some of those posts have just perpetuated the silly drama, which is just sad to me. There were moments that I felt like I was trapped in high school! And what I think people are forgetting is that those High School-esque moments are all about the people creating them, and not even remotely to do with the conference. I bet there were a bunch of people there that had no idea the drama was happening. Silly right?
Kate/guavalicious says
Fabulous, fabulous post! Wish I had gotten to know you at Blissdom!
JenniferJayne13 says
Thanks Kate! There's no rule saying we can't get to know each other better now! 😉
KV's Confessions says
Annnd this is why I probably won't go to a blog conference!! I'm sure I would have an anxiety attack. Unless there were booze at all hours, then maybe 😉
JenniferJayne13 says
Funny enough… many of the vendors at Blissdom were passing out cocktails. It was easier to find booze than it was to find coffee! Crazy right? And I think that if there is a conference in your area, its worth trying. The biggest reason I could even afford to go to Blissdom was because it was an hour away and I found a ride. If I'd had to pay for a flight as well, I wouldn't have been able to go. Find one person you know that you like/connect with before you attend and then you can hang out together! 🙂
sweetlisak says
Thank you, I am going to my first conference this fall, great tips!
distresseddonna says
I do not know if you have encouraged me to attend a conference or have scared me right out of my panties! Do you have to be invited to attend?
JenniferJayne13 says
Distressed Donna! Never fear! Its really not that bad 🙂 All the conferences I've attended or heard of have been open to everyone, you just have to purchase a ticket 🙂 The biggest thing you need to know about conferences is, at the end of the day, you have to be happy with your experience. You know what you're comfortable with and what you want to experience/learn so focus on that 🙂
Heather says
Pinned and tweeted. Love it.
Best line: "Put your big girl panties on and take the high road."
JenniferJayne13 says
Hehe Thanks!
Smockity Frocks says
I'm sad I didn't get to meet you!
I love what you said here, and it echoed what I have been thinking after reading about all the "mean girls". I was there, and I didn't encounter anyone being mean! I introduced myself to plenty of new people (big blogs and small) and everyone I met was gracious and friendly.
I was also thinking along the lines of what you said "Nothing in life is perfect." That seems like a huge DUH!, but apparently some people were expecting the end-all-be-all of life experiences, and they were sorely disappointed.
EXCELLENT summary of Blissdom '13!
JenniferJayne13 says
🙂 Thanks! I would have loved to meet you too! Of course, our lack of meeting at Blissdom does not mean we can't be blogging friends now 🙂 Its surprising what people expect from an experience at times… you'd think you'd go into a conference with 700 women expecting things to not go perfectly. I mean come on! 700 WOMEN!! There's bound to be some drama… but you show your maturity level with how you respond to it!